Awake

It's 7:30am on Wednesday, November 23rd. I'm still awake. I haven't been to bed yet.
Took my meds 3 hours ago. Nothing. Can't take anymore.
Insomnia.
My mind is racing racing racing. I should be asleep.
I feel like I'm ready for something to happen; ready to jump.
But there is nothing.
I need to lie down. I need to go to bed. I need to go to sleep.
But when I close my eyes, I see you.
When I curl up to relax, I reach for something warm; heart beating.
I reach for you.
I was so close to you last night. Only a few miles away.
Had to drive home in the fog. 50 in a 75. Lead by the white lines.
I need to sleep.
Can't block it out sometimes. It doesn't always work.
Sometimes, I can't fake it 'til I make it.
I want to fall asleep. I don't want to feel like this anymore.
I want to curl up next to you on your shoulder, feel your warmth,
And go to sleep....