The Only Thing Missing Is You

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I thought about was you...

It's a Saturday. This is the day you used to be home, remember?
And the weather is perfect; it's *our* weather; forecasting rain storms all day and into the night.
It's a perfect day for staying cuddled up and enjoying the thunder and lightening.
We used to sit on the front porch swing under a blanket and watch the storms.
We even went storm chasing once. God, I loved that.
Remember?

Things have truly not been so good with me, hon. I keep trying, but this faking it 'til I make it thing is going absolutely nowhere with me. I know you want me to drop off the face of the earth. I'm sorry..I keep trying.

I went to my sister's studio last night for Second Friday. They do a music night and everyone brings whatever instrument they play. I brought my guitar, but even that I don't care about so much anymore. Didn't play it much. It spent most of the evening lying in it's case or was occasionally played by a couple other people.

I spent most of the night with a splitting headache and sitting in a drum circle, pounding on a drum. But it was fun. It was ok.
My sister would glance at me from time to time with this big smile on her face and this sadness behind her eyes because she knows the pain I'm in.
She's trying to help keep me afloat. Bless her heart. Don't know what I'd do without her..

Tonight they are giving a show at a local coffee house. Of course it is mandatory that I make it to that. And I'll be there.
She has given me their entire schedule and has told me that I must be at every event even if I just sit there and sip my water. I promised her I would.

So that's been my thing this weekend for Friday and Saturday night. Don't know what I'll do on Sunday. I really miss you on Sundays. Those are the worst because I know it's your only day off...and you are home...and I keep praying there is no one there to share it with you. Is that mean of me?

The day will come when you're off the Chantax and you'll be able to think clearly again. I'm waiting for that day. You'll be ok. You'll realize how crazy this has all been. You'll come back. I know you will.

No one fights for true love anymore and that's a very sad sad thing. No one believes in it; they just start up with someone else.
And if someone does fight for true love; holds on to it; they are perceived as delusional, obsessed, crazy.

Well, my love, I am not crazy. You know it and I know it.
No matter what everyone else around us thinks, you know I'm not crazy.
And so, I will continue to hold on to this. You are supposed to be off the Chantax the end of this month. And I imagine it will take a week or two for all of it to leave your system.

I just hope and pray that your ego won't stop you from contacting me. You promised you would. So I will wait.
I will wait for that just like I'm waiting for this rain storm that's coming in. The windows are open; I can hear the thunder, see the lightening. Yes. The only thing missing

is you...
I Love You