Deceived

I don't think I'll ever get to the point where I actually do well with change. I like things to stay the same; predictable; dependable; safe.
I have learned there is no such thing as "safe" in this world. And if it looks too good to be true, it probably is.
It probably, assuredly, most definitely is.

I'm going to have to reevaluate my entire system of beliefs to qualify trust in another human being.
Again.
Going by my track record and most recent experience it looks like I still haven't learned a thing.
I'm still going all-in and relying on blind trust.
I'm still making bad choices in the people I'm with.
I'm still getting taken. Ripped off. Robbed.

And this time was bad.
Really bad.
No more.

And I must learn how to do this -- this trust thing -- without becoming bitter.
Without making the next person I choose to trust "pay" for the last one.
In order to do that, I need to forgive myself for being taken in again.
I need to forgive myself for being foolish; for taking someone at their word.
Very very few people are good for their word.
Most of them lie.
Most of them get away with it. But not all.

I'm trying to not make this whole experience dark. I'm trying to not make it all negative.
There's a real lesson to be learned here. I'm sure of it.
At this point, the pain is so raw that I'm wishing it hadn't cost me so much.
Seems hardly worth the price now.

I'll expand on these thoughts further later. Maybe. We'll see.
Deceived.

PS ~
Thank God, only 280 days left until the end of the world.
I don't think I could take much more....