Last night wasn't as bad as I'd feared. But it wasn't what I'd call good, either.
I messed around on the computer quite a while, watched some TV with the dogs, and was in bed by midnight. Not the most wild Friday night.
I woke up at seven this morning; a little surprised, but when I thought about it had been seven hours and that's my average need for sleep, I thought "what the heck" and got up.
I started the coffee, let the dogs out, and sat down at the computer. But not before I was sure to take my meds. I'm absolutely needing that crutch right now. Maybe more than ever.
Everyone's been writing some interesting blogs, lately. I've been reading many of them. Right now, my biggest concern is learning how to get over this being blind sided. I didn't see it coming. And there seem to be blogs out there that pertain to staying positive and looking for the good. I guess I need that sort of thing right now.
Well actually, maybe I did see it coming, but I won't go into all that right now. Too much to think about. It just bothers the hell out of me that all this went down in texts -- not even a voice on the phone. And just two weeks prior to this she was confiding in me about her aunt's recent death and wanted me to come to her memorial.
I opted out because I realized in the more than four years we'd been together, I really hadn't seen any of her family more than twice. And that was when we first met.
So I didn't think I'd be too welcome and people would be uncomfortable. Besides, she has a new, and I'm sure "presentable" girlfriend to take now. But I digress..
My plan today is to get the laundry done, like any other Saturday. And do the dishes. Clean up a little, tend to the bunny cages (I have 7 bunnies) and show them a little attention.
My biggest goal -- and this will be some fun -- is to give all three dogs a bath today. Which shouldn't be too big of a deal since they are all small; chihuahuas. Thank God I don't have German shepherds. :)
Grocery shopping is pretty much done and the gas tank is filled up. So if I don't have a mind to, I don't need to go anywhere this weekend.
I picked up my new glasses yesterday after work and am trying to get used to them. Its a lot stronger prescription than I had before and these are tri-focals, as opposed to the bi-focals I've had for years.
The middle one is supposed to let me work at the computer without looking over the top of my glasses but I'm getting quite the crick in my neck from that, so I'll have to see how it goes. I can always go back to bi-focals and look over the top again. I've got 90 days.
And so that's my master plan for today. I haven't figured out yet what I will do tomorrow. But that's tomorrow; its not here yet so why worry about it. A lot can change in one day. I found out about that yesterday.
Lord have mercy, The Ides Of March really knocked me for a loop this year. But I suppose it just means that God has new things in store for me. I've turned everything over to Him, so I'll be interested to see what plans unfold.
I'm trying to stay positive, but I know there will still be some dark dark days to come. And karma has a way of evening things out.
Her arrogance and pride will be her undoing. She'll crash and burn. Again and again and again.
And in thinking back, I was too damn good for her.
And I can do better.
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